I had a massage yesterday from a physiotherapist I like, but I realized that her touch doesn’t really ‘work’ with my body. It doesn’t have anything to do with her as a person or her skill as a therapist. Her treatments just don’t relax me or make me feel as good as other therapists’ treatments do. I left the treatment with more discomfort than with which I came in, and my back pain flared up (again) soon after the treatment finished. I felt unsettled, unhappy, and frustrated.

This is not uncommon and I was told that, if I were to ever become a massage therapist, I would have to ‘get over it’ very quickly; I would have to accept that not everyone will like my massages, feel better from my touch, or connect well with my energy. I have a very close and special relationship with my massage therapist at home and my mother prefers other people’s treatments. It has nothing to do with my mum or with him; it’s just the way my mother responds. The same is true of the therapist I recently saw: I adore her, but the massage she gave me yesterday didn’t make me feel better. To be fair, I wasn’t very happy yesterday, but a massage usually lifts me out of a bad mood or helps me release the negative feelings and tension that I carry around.

I have had problems with my stomach for a few years now. Stomach massages really help, but very few therapists can ‘successfully’ treat my stomach. Again: it isn’t indicative of their skill as therapists. It’s just the stubbornness of my gut. There was a point in time a couple of years ago where therapists could treat my stomach for an hour with no success. There are only two therapists I have met who can, somehow, effectively work on my stomach. I don’t know why or how their techniques work, but they do. They tolerate me laughing or crying through stomach treatments – because we hold emotions in our stomachs and are opened up to them when a therapist massages them – and then I feel better or I don’t.

Some people hate having their stomachs touched and don’t ever allow therapists to work on them. My mother hates having her shins touched; I had a boyfriend who didn’t like having his clavicle touched; I hate it if anyone touches my feet. Some people don’t like massages at all, either from friends, lovers, or therapists. This is one of those times when it’s neither good nor bad, here nor there. It just ‘is what it is’ and that’s okay. 


About Norah

writer. aspiring editor.
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