I took my second hot yin class tonight and found it easier to get through than the first. I wasn’t quite keen on deep stretching in fewer poses because I wanted more of a cardiovascular workout, but the stretching helped release tension in my back and shoulders. I found myself teary through a few of the hip-opening poses.
My yoga teacher at home told me that women hold emotions like sadness, stress, and grief in their hips. I understood then why I sometimes cry during sex and why I have cried through various forms of yoga. In opening up my hips, I am relieving myself of not only the tension in my hips, but the emotions I hold in them.
My hips and hip flexors are naturally tight and inflexible. Funnily enough, though I stretch my hip flexors constantly in pilates, I rarely actually feel the stretch. Tonight, during the first hip-opening pose (a deep lunge), I felt the stretch very intensely in both hips and each hip flexor. I also felt myself not only beginning to cry, but opening up to the emotions I was holding in my hips. I pulled myself together, but shed a few tears through other poses as the class progressed. I’m surprised that, by the end, I wasn’t in a flood of tears. I’m even more surprised that I’m not crying now.
I had a tough pilates class this morning because I psyched myself out. I struggled with some balancing exercises and that set the tone for the rest of the class. I was angry with myself and afraid to try other exercises that involved moving balance. I feel calmer since having done yoga. It isn’t to say one is better than the other or that the situation can’t be switched, but I am glad what frayed my nerves this morning was soothed this evening, even though I did cry a little and go through some unsettling emotions, like frustration and stress.