I had a really strong yoga class tonight that included a lot of aerobic exercise. The whole class flowed through everything together and the energy was palpable among us. I felt as though I were part of something bigger than myself in my practice; there was a heartbeat through the class that felt particularly electric. The practice was certainly challenging, but the synergy present gave me strength.
I left class feeling like I was floating. I’d really needed that boost of energy that came from my own power as a woman and the collective effort of the people around me. It is times like these that I am very grateful that I have practiced in groups. Rather than feeling as though I were competing with everyone or feeling as though I were weaker than everyone, I felt like I was part of the flow (which is something I hadn’t experienced since I last took a class with the particular teacher who guided the practice today).
Before my yoga practice this evening, I told a friend that I started yoga fully intending to use it to ’get better’ but now I just do it to ’feel good.’ I don’t spend so much energy trying to overcome my disability as I do just using the practice to make myself feel good. I’ve become addicted to the natural high the practice gives me, and – most of the time – I leave classes feeling better about myself and feeling better about my body.
It doesn’t matter that I can’t perform arm balances and perch on just my forearms. It doesn’t matter that I can’t stand on my head. I still benefit from the practice and it still makes me feel healthier and happier. I often measure my success and my worth with how well I can practice yoga, but having good classes puts that into different perspective. I can’t do every pose, but I can still do enough to better myself. It’s times like these when I feel that that in itself is enough.