My yoga teacher opened the practice tonight by asking us, ‘What do you long for?’ She asked us to pay attention to the deepest ache we felt right at the bottom of our chests. By the end of the class, I was a sobbing mess. She held me for a little while as I cried. I did my best to pull myself together and go about the rest of my evening, but I couldn’t shake the feeling her words had stirred in me.
I long to be free of my disability, to walk out of it, to shed it, to leave it behind me like a shell. I long to stop carrying it around, managing it, thinking about it, living with it. I long to be unencumbered: physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. I long to be – and feel – healed and safe in the world.