I have managed chronic pain for six years and I can’t see it getting better. I have accepted that pain management will be a part of my daily life. I no longer fight with it or demonize it. I just work through it the best that I can.

The pain occurs in my lower back just above my left hip. It is strongest first thing in the morning and dulls to a persistent ache throughout the day. I manage it with exercise, hot showers, massage, and stretching. I do not manage the pain with drugs of any kind because I am too afraid of becoming dependent on them, especially since my pain is chronic. I think it would be different if my pain were the result of an accident, an illness, or something acute. Since pain is now as much a part of me as my heart and skin, I manage it as best I can without any drugs.

People have suggested creams, ointments, and painkillers, but I have resisted them. I wanted to write about this today because my pain is worse than usual. Despite doing consistent yoga and actually having a massage this past weekend, I spent last night in excruciating pain that hasn’t got better today. I could take drugs for it, but I choose not to. I know myself enough to know that if I made an allowance once, I will do it again and again when I am in this kind of pain.

I will go to yoga tonight and do a hot class to try to relieve this pain and discomfort. Pain isn’t only hurtful, it’s exhausting, stressful, and alienating. I will use some yoga to get myself sorted.


About Norah

writer. aspiring editor.
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