I’ve been watching Hannah Maggs’s videos on Youtube for a couple of months now. Her husband Stefan said in their most recently weekly vlog that the ‘why’ of the vlogging determines everything. ‘Why’ you vlog determines the direction, purpose, and meaning. This is true of everything, and resonated with me in terms of blogging. My ‘why’ has shifted considerably since I started this process two years ago.
I started this blog with informative intentions rather than personal. I’d previously got in trouble for sharing too much in the blogosphere when I was younger, so I knew that, if I opened a blog again, I wanted to limit the personal content and share the information as much as possible. I started the blog to supplement the research I was immersed in for my publishing dissertation, and I wanted to use the material as the basis for a book (and a book proposal).
A couple of months into my blogging and research, a publisher for whom I have the highest respect completely changed my book. He said that my story was not an overcoming adversity story, but a relationship story. It therefore made the blog irrelevant.
I kept up with it through the remainder of my dissertation process, but now the ‘why’ for both the book and the blog have changed. When I ask myself why I still blog, the answer is, ‘I don’t know.’ I’m tired of writing about myself, of focusing on disability, and of focusing on content that is not relevant to my book now that my book will be different. The ‘why’ for my book is different, too.
I would like to take a break from blogging and, if I do write about disability, put that in the manuscript itself instead of online. I don’t have a compelling enough ‘why’ to continue blogging at this point.
Stef was correct. The ‘why’ determines everything you create.